The Succubus and the Comeuppance

Like many words a succubus has new and layered definitions. From being a female demon who preys on sleeping men for sexual power, it now also refers to women outside of the bedroom and in the boardroom.

In every office space there is one. One who feeds off spreading malicious rumour, unfounded accusation and supposition. The one who sits back and gloats as her seeds take root and grow in the drip tray of the watercooler. The one who always regards him or herself as the innocent victim in a tyrannous world filled with inequality.

The one from whom no-one is safe when one’s back is turned. Whose tongue is a sharp series of serrations honed on character assassination.

It’s part and parcel of life in a rabbit warren. That doesn’t mean I like it or condone it. There is a special sort of cowardice in one who will not face a problem head on, but prefers to undermine foundations from beneath.

Straight up? If you have a problem with a colleague, do yourself a favour and tell them about it, not everyone else. Firstly, it is not my problem. Secondly, even my children know better. Gossip and rumour is grist to the millwheel of karma. Eventually, it will bite you so hard on your ass that you won’t sit for a week.  

Here is a basic law. Do not make an accusation you cannot back up with hard fact and it your moral responsibility to give the person concerned the chance to defend themselves. If you reach your thirties still dependent on others to fight your battles, your chances of climbing the corporate ladder are slim to nil.  It’s time to put on your big girl panties and grow up.

If say, a colleague buys a piece of jewellery you’ve had your eye on, don’t go behind her back and accuse her of stealing it. That’s just petty.

When you want to say something mean about someone, remember that commandment, “Do unto others”, don’t share your dislike in front of that person in another language. That isn’t even petty, it’s indefinable. It’s also a strange thing to do, when a few weeks past you accused someone else of doing the very same thing.

If someone gets hauled in front of the boss for a minor infraction, don’t gloat about how they deserved it. You end up painting a picture of yourself as a person who cannot be trusted, who is utterly narcissistic and on a one-way trip to self-destruction. If you hate your job and your colleagues so much, leave.  

For some reason I have come against a number of women since motherhood who have resented my ability to breed with something akin to a deadly sin. Loathing a single mother for being able to give birth when you are struggling is sick, twisted and disgusting. Disliking a person because they’ve managed to have more than one child and you haven’t is bizarre. Turning that into reasons to constantly put down and belittle mothers who work with you is beyond the pale. The sad thing is that I doubt they stop to examine their reasons too closely. After all, who would want to?

A word of warning if you ever work with me. Do not make your problems mine. I have enough of my own. If you are going to storm into my office and make unfounded accusations based in rumour and your own over active imagination, I will throw you out. Just like I did today.