Beware

Listen up, don’t go in there
I’m warning you to please beware
The mirror’s playing nasty tricks
Turning young and pretty chicks
Into crones and evil witches
Giving birth to hardcore bitches
Showing wrinkles where there’s none
Making you crave high cholesterol buns
Urging you to break your diet
Can you hear it whispering, “Come on just try it!”
And the laughter echoes as you scream
After all it’s Halloween

Trick

A pirate and a fairy
A wizard and a witch
It’s time or very nearly
To eat stuff sweet and rich
Knocking on each and every door
For loads of chocolate bars and more

Bats

The whole office is going through a complete upheaval

Marais has gone completely evil

Christina has gone totally bats

Scott’s cutting out big black cats

I hope we get to trick or treat

With loads of candy corn to eat

I fear there’ll be less treats than tricks

That’s how creative’s get their kicks

Halloween

Tent

Toasted marshmallows in the flames
Ghost stories and monsters that know your name
Stars that light way your way to bed
In a snug little tent to lay your head

My son is going on his first campout
With dad and his friends and without
His mum to tuck him in at night
Or his little brother to give him a fright

They’re leaving on the 7th of November
I’d like it to be a weekend to remember
The thing is my money has already been spent
And I don’t have the cash to buy him a tent

If you have one I could borrow
You would save a small boy from irreparable sorrow
And earn my eternal gratitude
And a bottle of something nice (or two!)

Domestic Bliss

There are tomes to be read on wedded bliss
From what to wear to how to kiss
The perfect lingerie to wear
La Sensa (I’d just like to share)
When you make the change to Mrs from Miss
Well, you’ve probably already made a list

Kamasutra positions learnt
You might have got your fingers burnt
Twisting this way, twisting that
Carpet burns upon the mat
You may be able to put your foot behind your head
But there is simpler way to get a man in bed
A little look, a subtle smile
You won’t even have to wait a while

It has been said in ages past
That food is the way to tame a man’s heart
At this I have to disagree
Love is simpler by far you see
For there’s plenty of magic in simple things
Like a pair of golden wedding rings

Life in six words

Fairytale cynic seeks a happy ending

See: www.mcgill.ca/6words

The Golden Thread

A bright golden thread running through
Each and every job we do
Give me a length of 24 carat
A golden noose and a hook to hang it
Pretty little puppet on a golden string
I can make you dance and make you sing

Office gossip

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But words can never hurt me
There’s a sentiment with which I have to disagree

Malicious little rumours get underneath the skin
I’m damned if for a second I’ll let that woman win
I haven’t stolen from her nor said I want her job
Yet she wants to put me up in front of a lynch mob

I haven’t killed a kitten or had sex with her boyfriend
Yet this wave of vitriol seems to have no end
I’m caught in a nightmarish kindergarten flashback
Under siege from an ill-disguised, ill-timed attack

I keep expecting her to come and pull my pigtails
Or scratch the skin off my back with her talonlike false nails
I will admit I had a laugh when first I became aware
She had in for me and I’d better beware

Now it’s not amusing but petty and bizarre
And the gossip and the little lies have left a painful scar

The Bard

The course of true love never does run smooth
So said the Bard in some vain effort to soothe
The ruffled feathers of young love’s pride
What he should have said was run and hide
But his words ring true across time’s divide
For an erstwhile creator of a virgin bride
Who meets an errant billionaire
And embarks on a passionate and doomed affair
I always scoffed and said “Oh pooh,
If they can write this drivel so can you!”
Well it’s a bloody sight harder I’ll have you know
They don’t put on all that sex for show
In between the standard grunt and shove
They still have to fall in love
Reveal their secrets, break their hearts
In under 5 000 words
It’s an art I tell you and I one I will hone
If I want a literary agent of my own
You can turn up your nose at old Mills and Boon
They still make over 4 million women swoon

Up the creek without a paddle

I guess its time to learn to laugh
Even if it is on my own behalf
I’m filming a script 3 minutes long
For which I have to be super hero strong
My erstwhile voiceover artist has a debilitating stutter
Likely to turn me into some crazed axe wielding nutter
I’ve hit a brick wall in my effort to circumvent
Her unfortunate speech impediment
So pray for me in the days to come
Sitting head in hands feeling oh so glum
It’s not very funny I have to admit
Not for me and not for the girl who bit
Off way more than she can chew
She’s up the creek - no paddles - in a leaky old canoe

Mojo

Worked a little mojo
Sipped a ice cold Slo-Jo
Put the plan in motion
Made a little potion
Learnt the in and outs
Turned my back on nagging doubts
Now I know how to do it right
I just have to sit down and write
Easier said than done
Its going to be a lot of fun
But making time has never been
A talent of mine, or so it seems

Blessed Be

Write a tale of loss and love
Earth below and sky above
Weave a tale of mystery
Kisses stolen, hearts set free
A drop of ink to mark the page
A drop of blood to set the stage
A feather from an angel’s wing
Bound within a golden ring
The power of the printed word
Bring to my hand a gold reward
To give the ones who hold my heart
A home, a start, a glowing hearth
I commit you safe and sound
To come to life beneath the ground
Strong and safe and swift and free
As I wish
So mote it be

Web cast

Cast a spell
Spin a web
Silver moon
And golden thread
Thrice times round
Goddess bound
One for luck
One for love
Earth below
Sky above
Wings for dreams taking flight
A flame to warm the darkest night
A diamond drop of new spring rain
Thrice time round and bound again
Born of creativity
As I wish
So mote it be

Charms

As green as the emerald isle
Heart’s desire within those eyes
Soft voices weaving ancient charms
Bind her to these open arms

The last

The moon
Covers me
In robes of silver
A whisper of wind
Lifts a prayer
On high
Goddess Blessed
An ancient circle
Standing stones
Stand together
Stand alone
Soft tendrils of green
Anchor me to earth
Diamond drops of dew
Glisten new formed upon my throat
The flames of passion
Fanned to heat the blood
The wheels turns
And returns
I have walked this path before
My feet ache from the journey
My head spins with lessons still not learnt
My hands scream from the agony of holding on to fast
This time
This time
This time will be the last

Feet of clay

I followed the path you laid at my feet
I willed the eyes to see, the heart to beat
I did my duty one thousand fold
Lived one hundred lifetimes old
I know what it is I have to do
It is the why I never knew
Silent whispers in the dark
Of a greater whole, just one small part
One day when it is done
When the final days have just begun
I will look up to see you standing there
As you did when you first appeared
And I shall take my leave and go
Into the mists of long ago
Until that day I meet my love
Between this world and the one above
Stolen kisses ever sweet
Give wings to these tired, aching feet

Special Needs Barbie

Life’s all about loss and gain
Road trip down memory lane

Do you remember your first Barbie?
Long blonde hair and oh so pretty?
Did you cut off her golden tresses?
Dress her up in pretty dresses?
Did she have a pink Cabriolet?
A horse, a castle and Ken over to play?

I saved for months to buy one of my own
I washed the car and did chores all over our home
Then piggy bank in hand Dad and I
Went to the toy store my Barbie to buy
A few months later my puppy arrived
And then my beautiful Barbie survived
A brutal attack on her pretty little face

An amputee Barbie, she lost no grace
I loved her still with all my heart
Of my childhood imaginings an integral part
I don’t care if her boobs are far too large
She always struck me as a chick who takes charge

Now my small girl has a Barbie of her own
A fairy princess on a rainbow throne
There’s something magic in her eyes
When she spreads her wings and starts to fly

The Mulberry Bush

La la la
And so we go around the mulberry bush
In a headless chicken mad rush
Client service peers at adjoining desks
Incapable of lifting up their heads
And simply asking "Hey, what's up?'
Instead they cluck and make a fuss!

Zippo

Sick to my stomach
I can’t eat
Just bow in silent supplication
Before a porcelain bowl
In this darkness I offer
One prayer from the bottom of my soul
Grant me a silver Zippo
So I know which way to go

Mr Churchill

Winston’s black dog
Nipping at my heels
Danced with devil
Made some deals
Time to collect on
One spirit broken
Two wings clipped
One voice silent
Pile it all on a glowing pyre
Set the remnants of my life on fire
In this cold cold night
My hands are like ice
Warming them at these flames
Comes at too high a price

Not waving but drowning

Hold it together
While a heart is breaking
Stand firm
While the ground is shaking
Hold up the roof
While the walls are falling down
Keep my head above water
Even while I drown

Trials and Tribulations

We live life in extremes
Highs and lows and few in-betweens
Just when I think its all plain sailing
I’m overboard in 10 foot waves arms flailing
It started with a telephone call at 1 pm sharp
Yesterday afternoon from a hungry loan shark
The bank has foreclosed upon our home
Despite the positive balance on our loan
“Oh yes”, they said, “there’s been an error”
No need to feel such abject terror
Unfortunately there’s a judgment in your names
And it’s really a terrible crying shame
There’s nothing really that we can do
Sadly it’s all up to you
To hire an overpriced attorney
With a highly overrated LLB
To go to court and demand they rescind
Cry “mea culpa” and admit that they sinned
All this at our personal cost
Money we can regard as irrevocably lost

I wish my sorry tale ended there
But there is another mishap I must share
On the way to watch the fireworks at the school
(which by the way were awesome and cool)
Some vehicularly challenged PDI
(“Previously Disadvantaged Individual as named by those on high)
Drove straight into the rear of my car
As we sat stationary following yonder star
He ranted and raved that we were in the wrong
We gathered a rather interesting throng
Who agreed with us that he was a nutter
Deserving of his place in nearest gutter
Nonetheless he has no insurance and no employ
Except probably as someone’s garden boy
“You can’t leave me here, you owe me money!”
I know one-day we’ll look back and find this funny
But right now I can’t find the silver lining
And can only find solace in this pitiful whining

Sweet nothing

Rain kissed
Warm wind whispers
Sweet nothings in my ear
Alone in the crowd
Waiting here

Chanel

Bubble of laughter
Clink of glass on glass
What is it you are after?
Do I dare ask?
Soft slip of satin
Sweet echo of Chanel
Reminiscent scent
Remember when
We were heaven sent?

Stamping ground

A long confinement
Old stamping ground
New names and places
Taken seed and grown
Moved on
Like the swans
To some warmer clime

Thief

You stole my words
From my mouth
Before they were full formed
When I saw the look in your eyes
I should have been forewarned
A faint echo of an old dance tune
The swirl of silk in a darkened room
Your shadow etched in the spaces between
Transformed into some otherworldly Queen
No coronation street for me
To satisfy your curiosity
Take this golden crown away
Save it for a rainy day
It was not meant for me

Stirring

Theo’s on form ranting and raving
I can see him through the window
Animated arms waving
Marais has a giant invisible spoon
Stirring away in the heat of the noon
Bronwyn’s torn between laughter and tears
I empathize with her obvious fears
That she’ll be stuck listening to them for hours
Caught between two warring powers

Facebook

Each day from 1 to 2 I am allowed to look
At the pages of the ubiquitous Facebook
But for some or other reason today
That access has been taken away
I fail to see why it is such a crime
To log in from time to time
I don’t spend all day catching up with friends
With hellos, goodbyes and making amends
Now I can only enter for a brief little hour
It seems like this is the work of some higher power

Dinner with De Niro

Zaheera has recently flown in from Dubai
On another quick hello goodbye
We played message tag for a day or two
But now we’ve plans for a dinner à deux
Its not exactly dinner with de Niro
But you can always join us at Doppio Zero

Footloose

This morning I chased cobwebs from my head
Wondered what to wear as I lay lazy in bed
Motivated at last I donned summer dress
Then catapulted from relaxed to completely stressed
With a realization that hit like a ice cold shower
I left my shoes in my mother’s garden bower
Not exactly footloose and fancy free
I went on a crazy shoe throwing frenzy
This heel’s broken; this one’s not a pair
Oh my god I have no shoes to wear
Today was one of those where I needed high heels
To give me that certain je ne sais coi feel
Instead this mistress’s feet are firmly on the floor
In a pair of flats I have never ever worn
So now I am completely obsessed
With blowing some cash in my beloved Nine West

En route

An exercise in patience
A test of endurance
Stationery we sat
We talked about this and that
Chewed the fat
I had a power nap
Closed my eyes
Had nightmares of my imminent demise
Of sheer unadulterated boredom
Claustrophobic intervention
No halfway decent radio station
Time ticked on and we stayed put
Waiting 2 hours to put foot
Marais and Warren are great guys
But if I thought time in their company would fly
I was sorely mistaken
I’ve reached that point at thirty two
Where I bid each second of life a fair adieu
No longer do I chase the seconds on the clock
Instead I hear the steady tick tock
Of life passing by at an amazing rate
Not yet quite resigned to my fate