William Morecombe - In memoriam

For a second you were flying
Like you always wanted to
Now you’ll fly forever
In skies of azure blue
We’ll see your smile in every ray
Of sunshine after rain
And hear the echo of your laughter
Over all the pain
The world’s a little quieter now
The colours have lost their hue
The birds are singing softly
And our hearts are missing you
Each time we see a little cloud
Or a rainbow soaring high
We’ll think of you and gently
Wipe a tear from our eye

To the masseuse with wandering hands

God saw fit to make me rather well endowed
With a cleavage of which I am quite proud
Now, you can look, but you cannot touch
And your hands are wandering a tad too much
I don’t want to make a scene
But your fingers are doing something rather obscene
The feel of your slimy, clammy, sweaty flesh
Is branded upon the skin of my breast
So let’s get one thing perfectly clear
You feel me up again and I’ll break your landing gear

Chameleon

A social chameleon slides right in
Knows what to say and how to spin
Sweet nothings, chitchat, astute social commentary
Charming and flirtatious, sipping a fine French Chablis

Can change his spots according to
Any genre or milieu
Adjusts his hue and colouring
To be neither too left nor too right wing

When the colours fade back to black
The mask splits apart with a swift sharp crack
Stripped of pretense, not so debonair
Just rather ordinary and rather the worse for wear

To Luke on his 6th Birthday

I’ve held you in the dead of night
Chased away your fears
I’ve kissed your wounds better
Wiped away your tears

Of all the mothers in the world
You chose to bless me
Your love, your laughter and your grace
Has set my spirit free

Thank you for the flowers
That bloom beside my bed
Thank you for the little things
The words of love you’ve said

My world is so much richer
The stars shine through the night
You’ve made the very heavens sing
And filled my soul with light

No matter where life’s long road
May take your tired feet
My love will be your guide
And guard you while you sleep

Shattered

The image distorted
The body disjointed
The soul contorted in pain
The pieces are scattered
The dress in tatters
The glass shards fall like rain
The prayers are offered
The sacrifice gutted
There’s nothing left but shame

Eden

Insidious little whispers in the night
Creep through the chinks in my armour
Soft tendrils of smoke twine around my dreams
And plant the seeds of nightmares
To flower and grow into some mutant Eden

On the block

What value an item, but what someone will pay?
What value a person, but that bestowed by someone else?
So fragile a worth eroded by a cruel words
Or a glib comment thrown away upon the wind
A woman is not a job lot for a Sotheby’s auctioneer
Or a sidewalk whore with a price tag on her wares
She has value beyond that which you see
And wisdom far beyond her years

Agony Auntie

Tell me what to do
To stop this spiral into hell
Tell me what to say
To stop the snow from falling
Tell me where to go
To find a way out of the maze
Tell me where to hide
While the thunderstorm rages
Tell me that everything will be alright
It’ll all be better in the gentle morning light
And though I know it is a lie
Say it anyway
Because the words hold me together
When all else has failed

The 1000 yard stare

I didn’t sign up for this
With the arrogance and naïveté of youth
I wanted to fight for freedom
And liberty for all mankind
Not wade in blood and gore up to my ankles
And sleep with the dead and dying
I didn’t sign up for mud and the cold
And the desperate wails of my brother
He lost his leg when we went over
Into no mans land that morning
His blood stained the sacks as it seeped through the bandage
And the rats waited for once silent
Knowing they would gorge themselves later
There are no heroes in war
Only the dead and those who survive
But every one of us boys
Who fought there lost our lives
There are times I wish the reaper
Had come for me that night
And saved me from the years of waking death
That have underscored my life
All the roads I have taken
And all the places I have seen
I’ve never left that battlefield
Or lost the echoes of those screams

Taking vows

Oh screw it
I've had enough
Of bullshit and lies
And bloody gray fluff
If I could only learn to bite my tongue
I reckon I'd become a nun
And take a vow of silence in an isolated cloister
Renamed, I think, Sister Argumenter

Perspective

If I am going to be punished
For what I did not do
I may as well do it
Wouldn't you?

If you make promises
You cannot keep
May I do the same
As you lie asleep?

But its not the same
When its done to you
Things are different
From that point of view

And no, it's not about you
Although you think it is
Sometimes its about me
Selfish though that is

Fallen

A sword forged in the flames of hell
By an angel who from heaven fell
Steel hardened in the heat of fire
Blade sharpened on the edge of ire
Wielded in battle, a song in the hand
Alone in the fray, the warrior stands
And the bodies of the men that he has felled
Lie at his feet, their voices quelled
Where to now soldier, where to now
Once you've wiped the tears of blood from your brow?

Not alone

I sat down near the lake
And watched the geese swim by
I caught a glimpse of someone watching
Out the corner of my eye
But they slipped into the shadows
Back from whence they came
I thought saw the blur of wings
And heard the whisper of my name
I watched the ripples widen
Across the reflection of my face
And I caught a shred of memory
From other time and place
I know that someone’s watching me
In case I trip and fall
I know someone will hear me
If only I should call

Random Acts of Kindness

Thank you
To the lady who lent me 50c to get out of the parking
To the gentleman who held the door for me this morning
To the man in the car who said “Bless you” when I sneezed
To the guys in the truck who sang along with me to Guns and Roses
To the taxi driver who let me in front of him when I was in the wrong lane
To the teller who smiled when she wished me a good day
To the car guard who remembered my children’s names
To the little girl who said she liked my dress
To all the people I do not know who touch my life
With random acts of kindness

Digital backlash

I hate digital technology
The lie that it makes my life easier
What it does is allow a violation of personal space
There is nowhere to go to escape the incessant clamour
In sheer desperation I turn it off
To steal a moment or two of peace
But the backlash of animosity
That I would have the audacity
To want to escape the grid
Drives me to my knees
Living the pages of a post-apocalyptic 80s novella
Lost the plot
Is there anywhere left untainted?
If so, take me there
And leave me
In peace
And quiet

Monday

I’m tired of quiet platitudes
Egos and unearned attitudes
Swallowing the things I want to say
Gives me indigestion first thing in the day

I want to laugh too loudly for small spaces
And put Fred and Ginger through their paces
I want a fuck off bunch of flowers with a note
And something big and sparkly to hang around my throat

Right now I’d just settle for a Styvie
And very hot sweet cup of tea
I'll eat the chocolate bar I bought on a whim
And use full cream milk and not low fat skim

Sacrificial lamb

A web of lies so fragile
That binds you to the cross
A sacrifice of honesty
To the faith you went and lost

The spinning of a safety net
As elaborate as fine lace
Your creation turned upon you
And lashed your arms in place

A single word of truth
Would all the ties unbind
But do you have the courage
To lay it on the line?

Stumble

Ever stumbled on the path

On a stone so insignificant

That it might have been a speck of dust

Only to find the very foundation of your world shaken

And the ground ripped from beneath your feet

For a second you feel you're flying

Then the earth comes up to meet you

And you lie bruised and battered

Your pride broken

And your blood staining

The sand beneath your fingers

As they grasp for some purchase

Some promise

That things will be okay

That you will stand up

And keep on walking

Excretia

Shit

Is not a swear word

When it's running in a river

Through your yard

Shit

Is not expletive

But excretive

When your neighbour's turd

Floats quietly by the window

Shit

Does not describe

The unholy stench

That permeates the air

Shit

Is what the plumber can do

When it's not his problem

And shit

Is what the council will do

To fix it

Happy ever after

Crazy though it seems

Things fall apart at the seams

I want a wonderland

With toffee apple trees

And the scent of cookies baking

Wafting on the breeze

I want a fairytale

With rainbow coloured wings

And sip the dew from bluebells

In a magic mushroom ring

I want a happy ever after

Is that too damn much to ask?

Fatigue

God I’m tired
Off balance
The dream world more real
Than the waking
A surreal state of being
Marking time amongst living
Paying penance for some long forgotten crime
Sentenced to life
No chance of parole
By a jury of peers
And the one who would free me
Angel or executioner?

Surrender

Empty promises ring clear
Like a crystal goblet song
In my error I believed them
And got it all so very wrong
Floored by fatigue
Is it worth the pain
Of holding together
Shattered pieces of a dream?
If I let them fall unhindered to the floor
Someone else could clean it up
The onus mine no more
I could stop the frantic kicking
To keep my head above the waves
And let the tide carry me gently gently far away

Panic

Ravens caged within my breast
They beat their wings against the bars
Flailing beaks and razor talons
Tear tender flesh apart
I watch from a distance
As the blood drips to the floor
A crimson tide of retribution
That stains the white sand of the shore

Lucy

I’m liaising with a lady named Lucy Xu (rhymes with shoe)
She’s in Shanghai, that much is true
She says she spleak no English, I spleak no Mandarin
What remains of my patience is wearing thin
If I had a pair of chopsticks I stick them up her nose
Its inevitable we will come to blows
The bitch speaks English as well as I
This whole language barrier is a total lie
To disguise the fact she’s done sweet bugger all
And I’m the patsy who will take the fall

Migraine

Shattered shards of glass
Pierce the veil
The searing point of puncture
Where words fail

Why

A hairsbreadth between now and then
A single step all that separates the ground from the abyss
I clutch at this fraying strand of rope
And my muscles scream in endless agony


I ask why?

Why not let go and enjoy the split second of flight?
Why not sink into the depths away from the blinding light?
Why not embrace the fear of the unknown
And let the darkness wrap her silken arms around me?
What is there to fear…
But failure?

Irate

Oh give me a baseball bat
And a swing at some kneecaps
And I’ll give you a reason to believe

Just give five minutes
Of your oh so precious time
And I’ll show you what happens when you thieve

I can’t cut off your fingers
I can’t cut off your toes
But I have a few little tricks up my sleeve

A single word can fell an army
When you know just what to say
And the damage done more than you can possibly conceive

And Karma is a women
Like an evil bitch in heat
And she’s waiting round the corner when next you practice to deceive

Where to from here?

It’s gotta be like WOW
Gotta POP POP POP
It’s gotta catch you on the run
It’s gotta scream out STOP!

But…

It’s also needs to be classy
But not scream ostentatious bling
Accessible to everyone
And still fit for a king

So…

We want an activation
TV, radio and online
Some print ads and a billboard
Can you book a can can line?

Basically…

Go mad, go wild
Show us what you can do
We want everything they have
With a cherry on top too

And…

We need it by tomorrow
Or the end of play today
And fifty five dollars
Is all we’re prepared to pay

Lament to the Air Con

Outside the sun is shining
And the sky is a turquoise hue
But inside this office building
My toes are turning blue

A plume of dragon’s breath
Emerges when I speak
I think I’m freezing to death
And the future’s pretty bleak

I called upon the man
Who knows about these things
He looked at me dead pan
And said he try to pull some strings

The thermostat is on the blink
I could have told him that
He said he have to have a think
And promised he’d be back

Many days have slipped right by
Without a single word
A single solitary tear I’d cry
If it wouldn’t freeze up first

Autumn

From my window I watch
The leaves turn to gold
And the men and women
Bundled up against the cold
I watch the clouds chase
Across the wide blue sky
And sparrows meet
Before they fly
The mornings are dark now
Until the sun deigns to show her head
And I have no desire
To leave the comfort of my bed

Invasion

You walk in as though you own the place
Run your hands through silk and lace
You take your time dipping into my life
With insouciance and a kitchen knife
And all the while I lay asleep
Lost in a fragile world of dreams
And you placed in your pockets little things
Whose only value lay in rememberings
I wonder if you watched me as I lay
Unaware and on display
I wonder if you knew how I would feel
I wonder what else you wanted to steal

SA PC

There is a strange poetry

To the dance

Of political correctness

A fluid rhythm

Born of necessity

Acute awareness

Of the subtleties of subtext

And the symmetry of semantics

A veil of fine spun silk

To filter the unmentionable

An inbred censorship

To monitor and apportion

A vague sense of guilt

For even daring to think

The unthinkable

The Character Assasin

Subdued in shadow

In the pause between the subtle lines of text

In the echoing silence between words

In the knowing glance

And nuance of poise

She waits

Scythe

The wheel is spinning
Like crazy
Someone set the hamster
Free
Houdini slipped the silken bonds
And ran off
Into a tequila sunset

Can’t shake the dark foreboding
Of the coming Armageddon
Do I fight the coming of the night
Or lay down and rest my head
Upon my hands
And wait

Each grain of sand that drops
A minute less of life
A heartbeat closer
The quicksilver slash
Of a scythe
Too close for comfort
Splitting hairs again

Trap

The restless anarchist
In me
Resists the subtle slide
Of the everyday
Challenges the status quo
And seeks for something
Else
Entirely

A jailbreak from nine to five
Monotony
Imprisoned by the fear
Of the unknown
Repulsed and tempted
By the silken threads of
Nebulous security

Like the hunter
Chewing off his foot
To escape the clutches
Of the iron trap
To set himself
Free

Trap

The restless anarchist
In me
Resists the subtle slide
Of the everyday
Challenges the status quo
And seeks for something
Else
Entirely

A jailbreak from nine to five
Monotony
Imprisoned by the fear
Of the unknown
Repulsed and tempted
By the silken threads of
Nebulous security

Like the hunter
Chewing off his foot
To escape the clutches
Of the iron trap
He set himself

Naval

I’ve contemplated
My naval
To its very depths
And wondered as to the
Evolution
Of that small piece of fluff
That lodges in the belly button
I’ve yet to find the meaning
Of life
Hidden in the folds
Of my abdomen
Yet, I can see the fascination
It holds
For generations of philosophers
The hypnotic contemplation
The Buddha belly

Woes

The roof leaks
And the storm rages
Above my bed
I wake with raindrops
On my eyelashes

The fridge bellows
Or whimpers
Its death throes
No longer cold
It waits for death

No more friendly scent
Of fresh coffee
In the morning
The quiet looms
In the hour before sunrise

The car shudders
At the thought
Of another mile to go
And promises yet
To keep

Shafton Grange

Time out of time we spent
A sanctuary heaven sent
In a valley of mists

A white steed in silhouette
Glimpse of an equine vignette
Framed by my window

Seductive scents weave
Their webs entangle me
Tastes to feed the soul

Laughter from the treetops
Rainbows in the water drops
That flew from golden hair

The rush of the city calls
No more hidden waterfalls
But I know they’re there

January

A tenuous grasp on the fast fading sensation of holiday memories
Resolutions fading like last weeks overblown lilies
Sinking fast into the muddy waters of day to day existence
Putting up only partial, half hearted resistance
Stolen snapshots of sunshine senoritas
Bitter aftertaste of too many margaritas
Holiday lights packed away for yet another year
To gather dust on the bottom shelf, a sad recollection of Christmas cheer
Already the colours of that final sunset show
Are fading like a photograph taken far too long ago
But I’ll keep that picture of the sunshine in your hair
And blue eyes laughing, your face so fair
Don’t grow up too quickly, don’t leave me behind
With just the traces of a melody running through my mind