I’m liaising with a lady named Lucy Xu (rhymes with shoe)
She’s in Shanghai, that much is true
She says she spleak no English, I spleak no Mandarin
What remains of my patience is wearing thin
If I had a pair of chopsticks I stick them up her nose
Its inevitable we will come to blows
The bitch speaks English as well as I
This whole language barrier is a total lie
To disguise the fact she’s done sweet bugger all
And I’m the patsy who will take the fall
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