The Secret Life of Llamas

Llamas are in. Llamas are the new labradoodle. Everyone who is anyone needs a llama. They are an icon for a new generation of pet owners and soon, I am certain, some enterprising geneticist will engineer a miniature llama for us city dwellers.

Llamas are essentially cute, cuddly, mini camels. Llamas are much nicer than their cousins. They won’t get you across the Sahara, but they can get you up the Andes. 

About 5 000 years ago they were domesticated from guanacos making them the oldest pets in the world. Not that they were kept as man’s best friend. They were primarily beasts of burden. 

If Christ had been born in the Andes he would have ridden in to Jerusalem on a llama.

For a reason I am at a loss to explain a previous post on llamas has received a rather large amount of attention. I can’t help it, I am going to milk it for all its worth. 

Thought! Can you drink llama milk? It’s got to be better than goat milk and the type of people who think the more you pay for something, the better it is for you, will lap it up.

 

Just think of it... Imagine here deep male voice over – a bit Brad Pitty. 

Peruvian bells in the background up and over.  

From the foothills of the Andes.

From the land of the Inca.

Organic, free range llama milk.

Taste the difference.

So, if you’ve got a llama, milk it baby, milk it. There’s potential here. Untapped, but definitely just waiting for you. 

I’d do it, but we don’t have llamas in Africa and giraffe’s are notoriously hard to milk. 

Aside from the obvious food and wool they provide, llama poo is a very efficient fuel. If you have a llama you could sell this too. It’s very eco-friendly. 

Here in Africa the zoo turns a nice profit from selling lion poo to urban city dwellers with cat problems. The neighbourhood moggy gets a sniff of alpha male lion and he’s not going to come and bully your Siamese anymore.

Llamas are easy to train, but they won’t play possum. They are curious and like company. They are very good with children, especially those with special needs. 

They only spit if they really don’t like you. This can be used to vet your teenage daughter's dates. If the llama says they are okay, she should be safe with them. 

Think of your llama as an boyfriend oracle.

Maybe I’ll start a llama farm out in the savanna. 

Should give the hyena a good belly laugh.