Thursday, June 23, 2011

Stupid is as stupid does


Oh hell, the bully chronicles continue...

The school psychologist had a chat to Small boy aged 6 and taught him with some techniques to use. All we need to do is give him the confidence to actually use them. I really appreciate him taking the time to talk to my son. He seems to be one of those people who has the gift of being able to communicate with small boys on their level empowering them rather than condescending to them.

Sadly, his intervention was superseded by Small boy aged 6 being shoved to the ground as the bully came at him from the back. He seems careful to do it when there is no-one watching and Small boy aged 6 has no recourse.

He has also taken to sitting next my son at break time grabbing his lunchbox and helping himself. Today I gave Small boy aged 6 strict instructions to sit right next to the teacher on duty and let her know why he was sitting there. It seemed to work and Small boy managed to enjoy his snack bully free. The thing is he won’t be able to sustain this. Sooner or later the bully will get him on his own again, and then what?

Yes, my son is sensitive and empathetic. He loves learning to play the violin. When a bully taunts him with, “Where have you been? Playing your stupid violin?” it destroys something that he has every right to be proud in. It is not the violin that is stupid. It is the bully for believing that everything he cannot do must be less than worthy. But, you try and explain that to a weeping 6 year old.

I feel utterly powerless. The child’s parents have been spoken to, but the situation continues. I can’t protect him when he is at school and it makes me feel like a failure as a parent. This makes me take the offensive when it comes to dealing with the people I trust to safeguard my son during the day. It probably isn’t fair, but I am desperate.

I can’t bear to see the fragile confidence in my child destroyed on a daily basis. I hate that he has a tummy ache every morning when we get to school. I know that tummy ache. I used to get it too. It is pure undiluted fear.

So, teachers, if you’re still reading this blog, please do something. I beg you as a mother, please act in the best interests of my child. Whatever is plaguing the bully must be hard for him to act this way, but I cannot stand back and put my son at risk. When will it be enough? The next time he is pushed down the stairs? When he breaks a bone? When his self esteem is so crushed it will never rise again?

Tomorrow morning it is back to the school principal’s office. Funny, do you know I learnt to spell that? My teacher told me that the head of the school is your pal and that is how you know she is the principal not the principle.

2 comments:

  1. And big mommy aged 20-something continues to dish out pummeling at the school.

    Funny how the world continues to breed more jocks and we wonder when a scuffle ensues.
    The world needs more violinists.

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  2. Aye, Mongezi well put.

    My biggest concern is that only when some poor boy is stabbed when the violence escalates or is pushed down a long flight of stairs will something happen. Why not nip the problem in the bud as soon as it is know instead of pushing things under the carpet until someone falls over the lump.

    Perhaps they would have less of an issue with steroids in the senior school if there was less of bully push away from the violin to the more ‘manly’ Rugby.

    Qui tacet consentire videtur - What a skew culture for a school to grow from such a young age.

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