The view from on high

Scott said something this morning off the cuff

His words rang true and were fair enough

“All great work pisses someone off”

They look down their noses and scoff

At anyone else’s thoughts on the matter

It doesn’t do any good to listen to their chatter

The sad truth is that

We listen to their crap

And even though we see through the bluster

We walk away believing we don’t pass muster

AH HA a moment of truth has arrived on the job

The buxom lady admits she’s too much of a snob

To make conversation with those beneath her

There’s no getting around it I have to confer

Her head’s held so high

The world passes her by

And one day she’ll realise it’s past her

As a result of this sad attitude

She has earned my eternal gratitude

For speaking to those she had shunned

I had a tremendous amount of fun

In her eyes that probably means

I have sunk in her high esteem

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh me. Oh my

I’m so upset I just might die!

I’ve heard the funniest thing

Our ECD George is really a King

Let me give you a little background

We had a client in studio jackbooting around

So George walked up with a friendly greeting

And said “You’re the last creative I’ve had the pleasure of meeting”

“Oh no,” said the client, “I don’t belong here”

“I know,” Said George, “now GET OUTTA HERE!”

Rose has fallen amongst the thorns

It’s time to take the bull by the horns

The general consensus is to let Madam run

And watch as she falls flat on her bum

The thing about karma is that it’s a bitch

Eventually it’ll knock you flat with a pitch

Fork. So, we’ll let this one be

And for the moment let the Queen Bee

Do her thing and make some buzz

Give her the space to do what she does

Best. And then at the eleventh hour

We’ll all do ours and reestablish flower power

Marais feels cheated out of something

Because I’ve got in the habit of simply CCing

He needs a more personal touch it seems

And feels I’m coming apart at the seams

When it comes to being what he calls his “work wife”

I think he’s walking upon the thinnest of ice

Just in case Marc peruses this blog

“Work wife” does not mean we go the whole hog

What it boils down to is logistical issues

Making him coffee and passing him tissues

When the rigours of work become too much to bear

And then I send home to his real wife’s tender, loving care

I’d like to mention a good rule of thumb

Calling creatives at lunch is supremely dumb

What do they think traffic is there for

If not to listen to some suit-clad bore?

And don’t start apologizing for interrupting our meal

When you patently don’t feel

Sorry at all you insensitive heel!

Just leave us alone to eat in peace

And my productivity may yet increase

Now, this one poor client service chick

Is about to beaten over the head with a stick

You see there is a creative evolution

From artwork to DTP to client presentation

So, now she sits in an awkward position

As the work is nowhere near completion

I recall that great fundamental saying

about assumption and mothers and fuck-ups

leading to outcomes most dismaying

I think perhaps she needs reminding

Or barring that a bloody good hiding!

It’s getting to that time again

When I start thinking about putting down my pen

And wondering whose going to fetch the kids

And losing interest in BRRR bottle lids

Trying to think about what to have for dinner

If I didn’t eat anything I probably be thinner!