Mothers have a certain kind of elemental
magic in their fingertips. The ability to make a sick child feel better by
their mere presence. It is not a magic that fades with time, but one that seems
to grow with the years.
My mother has always gentle hands.
A full body Swedish massage cannot ease the tension out of my body as well as
her quiet caress. She seems to soak up all the stress and replace it with a
deep peace. I hope I can do the same for my
children, for there is no feeling more hopeless, more impotent, than being
unable to relieve your child’s pain.
At the extremely mature age of 21, I set off
on a trip overseas. After ten days in
Scotland I was suffering from a flu that managed to kill off quite a few stalwart
Scots. I got myself on a train to London, conned and begged my way into her
room and lay in the dark waiting for her to arrive from Moscow. I believed implicitly
that everything would be okay as soon as she arrived. It was. I felt better the
moment she walked in the door.
At 5am the next morning she stood
outside the nearest Boots waiting for the doors to open and arrived back with
blessed medication. Even now I will retreat to her home to recharge and know
she’ll tuck up her grown up daughter in bed, make me tea and toast, and offer a
shoulder to cry on.
I am deeply aware of what a unique
and incredible woman she is, and how incredibly honoured I am to have her as my
mother. It makes the knowledge that others have not been so privileged so much
harder to bear. I have a daughter of my own now and I cannot imagine ever
turning my back on her. I can’t understand throwing an 18 year old out on the
street for the misfortune of having fallen pregnant. I can’t fathom accusing
your daughter of trying to seduce your boyfriend. I can’t imagine not having a
mother who is not my best friend.
My mother let me make mistakes and
learn from them. She gave me enough rope to give me freedom, but not enough to
hang myself with. She withheld judgement on my bad decisions and was always
there to help me pick up the pieces afterward. She never once has said, “I told
you so”, however much I deserved it. I have learnt from her about what it means
to be a woman, a mother and a wife than any number of books could have taught
me. She helped mould be into the woman I have become, and while I am by no
means perfect, she didn’t do a half bad job.
Growing up her presence was
something I took totally for granted, I thought everyone’s mother was like
mine. The thing is that many aren’t. Some of the most devoted mothers come from
nothing, live from hand to mouth and survive every second to give their
children a better life. Some terrible mothers are so rich they can float
through life hardly meeting their offspring. I was shocked to discover a child
diagnosed with severe malnutrition at a top girl’s private school. Her mother
was so occupied with her social life, she forgot to feed her child.
I may not live up to my expectations
of the perfect mother, but I will never forget to tell and show my children how
much I love them. I love them in their angelic slumber, in the full flow of
their tantrums, as they hang upside down in trees and paint my eyelids the
colours of the rainbow while I am napping. I love them as they transform my
clean car into a rubbish tip, as they hide plastic spiders in my handbag and
create chaos in the wake.
If they remember nothing else from
their childhood, I hope they remember the words I whisper to them as they fall
asleep...
My love for you will be your armour
against the slings and arrows of the world
A light for you in the darkest of
nights
A path before your feet when you
fear that you are lost
It is water for when you thirst and
food for when you hunger
The shade of a tree in the heat of the
noonday sun
And the warmth of a fire through
the cold nights of winter
It will be with you all the days of
your life
A flame inside your heart none can
extinguish
Its light shall burn so bright that
all who look upon you will know
That you are loved
Right, now I’ve got that out of my
system, I have to share a bizarre story.
Some poor lady was brushing her teeth,
good dental hygiene is very important after all, our mothers teach us that. As
she leant forward to rinse her mouth, her lips touched the metal of the tap
just as her apartment building was struck by lightning. Luckily she was wearing
rubber soled slippers, so Thor’s errant bolt couldn’t exit through her feet. Unfortunately,
it chose the nearest available exit. I am sure you can guess where she suffered
third degree burns…
